Boss having affair with maid

Sam is a servant boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions as for the quality of the wine, decides to buy pastis (a French wine that changes color if you add water). Sam as usual, takes a mouthful and add water to replace what he drank.

However, soon after he added water the pastis became milky. When the Boss came backed and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail Sam as thief!!! At that same moment Sam realized he was in trouble and decided to go into the kitchen. The Boss told his wife that "Cherished, you will see, he will be obliged to acknowledge ". He shouted: "Sam!". Sam answered: "Yes, Boss". "Who drank my pastis?" No answer. The Boss reiterated his question: still no answer. Then the Boss went to find Sam in the kitchen and says to him: "You insane or what? Why when I call you you say "yes boss" but when I ask you a question you don't answer me? "Sam reported that "It is that boss, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't understand anything at all, except the name "

Then to prove that Sam lies, the Boss says to him: "You stay beside Madam, me I go in the kitchen, and you ask me a question ". Sam accepted. The Boss went in the kitchen and Sam shouted: "Boss". He answered: "Yes, Sam". Sam continued: "Who goes at the maid bedroom when the Madam is not there?" No answer. Sam shouted again: "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?" No answer. Third time: "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?" The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says "Sam: It is true, you are right, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the name".

Dont let this happen to you

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring at you , and that's when you remember: You've been listening to your iPod.

Making donkey laugh and cry

There was one time two friends sitting next to a tree eating their lunch until one friend asks the other, "Hey you see that donkey far away.." and the other friend replies... "yeah I see it." "I bet you 100 bucks, I can make that donkey laugh.. the other friend replies.. "go ahead I bet that money you cant do that".

So the friend goes where the donkey was eating his food, approaches to him and lift the donkey's ear and whispers in it.. and the donkey started laughing.. so the other friend loses his money..

in the next 5 min the friend asks the other friend again.. "I bet you 100 bucks more I make the donkey cry".. so he does and the other friend approaches to the donkey and lifts his ear and whispers in it again.. then donkey started to cry...

he goes back and the other friend asks: "how did you do that"? his friend replies, easy! "the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his.. "and he laughed.. and the "second time I showed to him..."

Three women talking about their sex lives 1

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."

The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."

The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."

She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."

"How so?"

"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."

The Awakening

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"